Mom Watch from Insanity House:
Stories from the frontlines of single parent mothering

By Tere McDowell and Insanity House

Imagine this scene

By Juli Cobb

Three women, all fairly attractive and all in their 30-something or 40-something eras, all with teenage boys who are in that lean, gangly, too-cool-to-stand-close so they stand in front of their moms stage. Somehow the boys hang in their baggy khaki shorts and t-shirts like awkward coathangers bent into odd triangular wiry frames. Two of the boys are as tall and one is taller than the women standing close and leaning in towards the teen that belongs to her (we can't really call them young men yet for they are our babies).

All three teens wait in line at the same airport terminal for their plane to start boarding. Leaning somewhat back, they each angle away from the woman they nonchalantly pretend they do not belong to (though they know to stay within touching distance). With hands in pockets, slouched in that universal teen slouch, the teens are ready to board a flight to Houston. One of the boys is carrying his skateboard as his carry-on luggage. The other two have backpacks slung over their shoulders. One of the backpacks is known to carry a cd walkman, gum to clear the ears, and healthy snacks because on this airline you fly for peanuts (peanuts will be eaten, nothing wrong with peanuts but that's all he will eat for the several hour flight. Apples and granola bars will remain unattended at the bottom of the bag all summer). Both mom and son understand this. We imagine the second backpack to contain the same stuff.

Next scene:

We cut to the waiting area. We see two of the three women staring at the now boarded airplane from the observation window. The third woman is at the airline desk holding her son's skateboard and discussing her options on how she will get the board to her son since they would not let him carry it onto the plane. This pricks the ear and interest of one of the plane gazing women who eavesdrops into the conversation that sounds so much like one she might be having herself, had her own son not figured a way (with mom's help in re-shifting and juggling items) to carry his skateboard in his baggage.

Finally, after exhausting all other possibilities, woman with skateboard decides to ship the thing herself, saving the $50 freight cost (maybe paying more at UPS?) but it's worth it because it will save the headache of trying to re-unite son and skateboard at a busy airport baggage claim in another city. Eavesdropping woman tries to contain an inward and knowing smile that threatens to become an impishly silly grin on her plane gazing face.

Other plane gazing woman remains artfully attached (by way of her extended and graceful arm and hand) to the observation window establishing a lifeline of mother energy that blazes through window glass, plane cockpit glass, connecting her directly to the psyche and thought process of the pilot she has just entrusted her son with. Woman with skateboard joins eavesdropping woman with silly grin and woman with artful attachments at the window to plane gaze.

“They wouldn’t let your son take his skateboard on the plane?” asks eavesdropping woman with a now sympathetically rearranged brief smile.

Skateboard woman frown-smiles back, “They say it could fall from the overhead rack and hurt someone.” Though why a skateboard could cause more damage than a heavy carryon bag or any number of other odd items allowed on board is not really clear. Maybe the wheels...? puzzles skateboard woman and eavesdropping woman to themselves as they now frown-smile together.

Woman with artful attachments breaks her plane gaze briefly (but not her extended arm attached to window) to not frown-smile but share, “My son has his skateboard in his bag.” She smiles her own empathetic half smile while eavesdropping woman of the former silly grin turned frown-smile now beams knowingly at her baggage packing savvy cohort, stating, “My son has his skateboard in his bag, too!”

Instant bonding occurs as these three, plane-gazing briefly interrupted, frown-smiling, grinning, and half-smilingly empathetic women realize their unique yet communal journey. The three women recognize the ritual they share as they turn their attention back to plane gazing and artfully attaching the powerful focus of motherhood onto airplane, pilot, copilot, plane mechanics, flight attendants, and the benevolent and just winds of the universe, now in charge of delivering precious and irreplaceable cargo: three single parent women's teenage sons traveling to their father's home for the summer break.

mmo : June 2004

Juli Cobb is a partner both at InsanityHouse.com and RaiseTheNation.org. She is a fine artist, writer and special education teacher.