The
financial security of custodial parents
So, how much of a motivation is money in the fathers' rights movement?
The 2002 United States Census report showed that poverty among custodial
parents fell from thirty-three percent to twenty-three percent from
the 1999 study, although the poverty rate remained about four times
higher than for married families with similar aged children. The
study also pointed out that the poverty rate for female custodial
parents fell to twenty-five percent, while the poverty rate for
male custodial parents was significantly lower at fourteen percent.
According the Institute for Women's Policy Research, "women
have made tremendous progress toward gaining economic equality during
the last several decades. Nonetheless, throughout the United States,
women earn less, are less likely to own a business, and are more
likely to live in poverty than men. Disparities abound regionally
and by state, and, even more profoundly, race and ethnicity continue
to shape women's economic opportunities." Further, their most
recent national study adds that even with continued economic gains
for women at the rate that has occurred between 1989 and 2002, women
would not achieve wage parity for over fifty years.
The Census report
shows that an estimated fifty-nine percent of custodial parents
had child support agreements, and of custodial parents receiving
child support agreements, sixty-three percent were women, thirty-eight
percent men. The proportion of custodial parents receiving full
payments increased between 1993 and 2001, but the proportion of
custodial parents receiving partial payments fell during that same
time. Those custodial parents receiving full child support were
less likely to be living in poverty. A correlation also existed
between child support and visitation or custody agreements: the
one was more likely to be received if the other was in place. In
other words, child support remained an essential factor in preventing
poverty among custodial parents, particularly mothers.
Disputing these findings
are researchers like Sanford Braver, co-author of Divorced Dads:
Shattering the Myths. With David Stockburger, Braver wrote
the book The Law and Economics of Child Support Payments.
Braver and others believe child support guidelines "have become
tilted against non-custodial parents because they fail to consider
the large tax benefits custodial parents enjoy, as well as non-custodial
parents' child-related expenses." These researchers argue that
this bias means that although a custodial parent may earn less money,
the higher wage earning, non-custodial parent's lifestyle isn't
better than the custodial parent's. Right wing commentator Glenn
Sacks and family law attorney Jeffery Leving (whose web site
is dadsrights.com)
contest that these laws "often drive them (the fathers) into
falling deeply into arrears."
Even for super-wealthy
celebrities, child support conflates responsibility and willingness
to pay. Sean P. Diddy Combs' recent response to being sued for higher
child support payments underscores this. A man known for his own
extravagance -- from big diamonds to big yachts -- he balked when
the New York State Supreme Court's Appellate Division approved a
child support increase from $5,000 to $21,782 per month to his ex-girlfriend,
Misa Hylton-Brim, apparently the highest child support payment in
state history. In an interview with The Associated Press, the hip-hop
mogul called the case an attack on his character. "It's not
about money. I don't care how much money I have," he said.
"If you come at me and say I don't take care of my child, I'm
going to take care of that to the end. I do take care of my child
to my fullest, that's something that should be rewarded. It's not
something that should be handled this way." He plans to appeal,
because he says he already gives enough to his son.
As Attorney Jeff Wolf
points out, if "shared custody" was the law, child support
guidelines wouldn't apply. He believes the fathers' rights movement
has taken a stand to cast the custody issue in terms of a values-based
system, even if there is a huge hidden agenda that has to do with
shirking child support obligations. "These fathers are busy
talking about the value of having a father in order to improve moral
development. They build up fears that children of divorce stray,
although this is unproven. Those values -- moral development and
importance of fathers --sound definitive. On the other side, the
values-based argument for 'best interest of the child' remains harder
to define neatly. Its message isn't that all children need a father,
rather that all children need parents to focus on their needs. Parents
emphasizing this value exhibit characteristics such as being open-minded,
flexible and nurturing. The moral standard of such pragmatism is
to ensure that stability is assured for the children, regardless
of parental sacrifice. The fathers' rights movement doesn't address
children's stability at all."
According to Wolf, that
"best interest of the child" standard sounds legalistic,
even though it's child-centered. He says, "Fathers' rights
groups may not appeal to experts -- they are not trying to -- but
legal services, experts, academics weigh in on the merits of supporting
the child's best interests. The public and the legislature are less
likely to be convinced by academics and judges. In order to prevail,
mothers need to articulate a moral argument, rather than a response
to the notion that fathers have rights."
In the intimate sphere
of family, emotions run high, and most especially when the stories
that convey betrayal -- from a person once loved -- are relayed.
The fathers' rights movement is not monolithic. There are men making
a considered, if one-sided point, about their sense of responsibility
and their commitment to vie for meaningful involvement with their
children. These men, like Ned Holstein, see their cases in terms
of gender discrimination. However, they are unwilling to put children's
needs and rights before theirs. Others in the fathers' rights movement
are far less articulate and far angrier than Holstein is. Their
postings can be found on various fathers' rights web sites (such
as dadsnow.org).
Blind rage fuels their involvement, stemming from the sense that
the courts treated them unfairly during their divorce proceedings.
Some, like Jason Hatch, haven't acted wholly above board or peacefully
with their former spouses.
Given the formidable
progress the fathers' rights movement has made -- perhaps especially
possible in this particular political climate -- those putting children's
best interests first have a great deal of work ahead. Mothers, fathers,
and others protecting children need to band together. They have
to take a play from Dennis Gac's handbook and find a way to go on
the offense.
mmo : june
2005
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