| As
mothers in the United States, we should take note of other societies.
We might be looking backward, or forward, to our own. In Ethiopia,
a woman just gained the right to have an abortion under certain circumstances,
in a land where she is considered little more than the dust. We can
also look back about 2,000 years to Biblical times.
The Gospel of Luke begins with two women, Elizabeth and Mary. Each
miraculously conceives: Elizabeth, John and Mary, Jesus. A most
profound image from the Christian scriptures is when Luke describes
how Mary stored up the images of Jesus in her heart, how she loves
to watch her child grow, how despite the travail, she owns her motherhood
and her love. You also read in Luke’s Gospel how Mary questioned
her visitor and she agreed to carry the child. She assented.
My point is not the religious aspect here, but the fact that Mary
questions the angel, and eventually grants permission. No spirit
falls upon her with force or intimidation. No one compels her to
carry a child and establish a relationship against her will. She
consents both inwardly and outwardly.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Joseph is told that Mary is carrying
a child, and that it is to become a Holy child. He is remonstrated
not to believe Mary taboo. The Scripture goes on to describe how
the social supports Mary needed were provided for— she wasn’t
on her own, a single mother gifted with a miraculous child. Instead
of being stoned or ostracized, she found safety. Concern is expressed
over the life the mother Mary will lead within her community because
it matters how well a mother does in the world— if she is
protected, supported, sustained. The outcome matters for her as
much as for the child.
Could it be that abortion is a necessary right in a world where
women are not in charge, not in control? We still live in a world
where mothers are raped, coerced, vilified, abused, left high and
dry and economically marginalized by motherhood. I can think of
another bumper sticker “Another Mother For Control,”
or “Mothers Should Rule The World.” The timing of childbirth
is so incredibly critical to women. It can mean the difference between
being able to succeed in life— to survive economically and
emotionally— and poverty. Timing and control are intertwined—
abortion is the ultimate control lever, the ultimate time keeper
or life preserver for the mother. You can argue that this kind of
intervention is holy and should be left to a higher being. Weight
the scale— suffering versus control. Shouldn’t women
have a weapon as powerful as walking out the door?
When considering the mother’s movement, an effort which seeks
to unite mothers, you have to consider the ability of mothers to
exercise choice and freedom over their reproductive destinies. Mothers
have to be respected for their decisions whether to have children,
or not to have children. You could argue that the movement only
comes to the fore once you have a child, then you are a mother,
right? Yet, mothers have to respect the journey of every mother
into her motherhood: this journey may include terminated pregnancies,
miscarriages, adoptions, or out of wedlock births. You cannot advertise
your moral judgments of other mothers on your bumper and hope to
help other mothers.
You cannot have a movement to secure economic and social equality
for mothers if mothers cannot choose when and with whom to have
children. That is a basic human right, to control one’s own
person. The question of life does matter, but it applies equally
to the lives of all, to the mother as well as to the child. A place,
the way, must be prepared for children. And mothers create that
place, that way. If a woman cannot see any viable way to carry a
child to term, to undergo pregnancy, to develop and to nurture a
child, then her life and wisdom simply takes precedence. It does—
because the control she maintains of her own personal integrity
makes equality of opportunity, equal justice and economic justice
possible — for herself, and, by extension, for her future
children. Simply put, reproductive freedom facilitates a mothers’
capacity to provide.
We are living in a world that is just beginning to support women,
to recognize the intellectual, professional and authoritative equality
of women. Whether or not we slide backward depends on the ability
we give women to grant permission, and to exercise discernment
and care over their own lives. Life is not just something that begins
in the womb: every mother knows that life is something you provide
each and every day, materially, emotionally, and spiritually. You
never stop birthing your child, and that child impacts your life—
motherhood limits your ability to get sleep, food, shelter, work.
As a mother, you are tied to your child and your child is tied to
you. A new baby limits your ability to care for your other children—
you only have two arms.
Once you have one child,
you question if another child can be sustained within the family:
will there be “enough” resources, enough money and parental
attention and energy. Life is a resource that we all share and spend—
and allocate according to our own formula or recipe. The recipe
for a good life, a life where there is enough, is different for
everyone. Children thrive where they are cared for, and where there
is enough of everything to go around. Getting by, struggling, these
can be an empowering saga in the human story of survival. There
is nothing wrong with bringing a child into adversity. But who determines
which life has eminence? Who measures the winds of fortune and decides
how best to cope? The one closest and best suited to decide between
competing demands— the mother. As women, we should be able
to realize that there will be different choices for different mothers.
I think of another bumper sticker, of course: “Another Mother
For All Mothers.” Mothers need to support one another for
the choices they make as women and mothers, even about when life
should grow into a child. |
